Win or the World End’s…
Less
More
Author Archive for Mikeyh1000
Step 1 - Acceptance - As you roll over in the wake of the debacle that was the WVU game. (Anyone else think their fans looked like white trash?) You stop and try to think of some up’s… UGA game BAMA game… But it doesn’t cure you… You have to let it kick in we have hit a “Bad Season”
Step 2 - Rationalization - Teams go through this stuff all the time. It’s not just us alot of good teams are having bad seasons… Then the realization is those teams you were thinking about just got done beating your glorious tigers..
Step 3 - Forward Thinking - Look at the class we are going to be bringing in. They are made for this offense… Kodi is going to be on point.. And we have been grooming E Smith all year! We are going to be fine… Let’s just get through these next weeks.
Step 4 - Depression - You realize that if we don’t turn something around we are going to lose some of these guy’s.. Then you start thinking about that awesome season next year starting to crumble.. Then you start thinking about how good self medication feels… Then you find your self standing in front of the mirror wishing you could smile…
Step 5 - Drinking / Enlightenment - You have now reached the healing… You start drinking on a Thur and you finish just in time to catch the Old Piss game… Cause you finally realize who gives a crap we knew this thing could blow up in our faces and poof it has. It’s time to get hammered and act like we still have a shot. We can beat Ole Piss… I know we can BEAT OLD PISS….
Step 6 - Nirvana - YOU REALIZE THE ONE THING THAT CAN MAKE ANY AUBURN MAN WOMAN OR CHILD HAPPY WHEN YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF HELL IS TO BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ALABAMA… 7 IN A ROW BITCH’S..
It’s time to place your bets on Auburn’s final record . Tie breakers to be determined by choosing the final rankings in the BCS top 25. If you feel we will not be in there just put “Out of 25″. If that causes a tie also include the final score of the Iron Bowl (Both for fun and if a crazy double tie happens)
I am offering up a super sweet Auburn Football signed by the 2008 AuburnTron Writer of the year himself.. Mikey Huddleston.
P.S. - If I win… Then the ball goes in the trophy case next to the signed Tub’s Football!
I would like to introduce myself.. I am the Reverend Mikey “AU…Burn” Huddleston … I am here to enlighten you and let you know what is going on in the world of AU…Burn..
Let me say to all of you out there Crying, Whining, Bitching, and Moaning - Shut The F* Up….. Or at least keep it off my web sight or any email chain that you may add the name Mike Huddleston to..
I want to lead you to the promise land but until you decide to walk I am not going to drag your sorry ass’s. Does 3-2 suck… Yes of course - it feels the same way a Rusty Trombone feels (Which for you weirdo’s out there that have not tried that is not good).. But at the end of the day what matters to you the most.. an Ugly Win or a Beautiful Loss? Would you rather a model with the clap or a chubby girl who is ready to go? A week old steak and cheese or a brand new veggie pita?
In the long run we are still ranked 10th… Todd is still the QB that we will see start and we seem to have trouble holding onto the ball… Who give s a rat’s ass? Did you just read we are 3-0 and still 10th in the nation… Cheer up you all need a Coke and a Smile…
Yes the main reason we keep the prestige is that every time Players like Coleman or Blackmon hit someone John Parker Wilson’s penis shrivels at least an inch… But it has alot to do with the fact that this is a learning curve and we are blessed to have a defense that can make our growth in the spread form into W’s. Any other team out there right now would be looking at 1 - 2 wondering what happened to the team they read about all offseason - We get a redo… A football mulligan..
Where should your head be right now?
We have the biggest game of our season this weekend followed by the biggest game of our season… Your head should be in the cloud’s - we are still in the running for everything we dream at night while we hold are Aubie teddy bear close….. We have beaten huge contenders the last 3 time’s Game Day and there gay trio have come to town… Shit the Iron brother’s thanked Corso (Swallows) after the Florida game… We have a chance to unleash hell.. To prove that we are getting this Spread.. and turning it into our own.. the Spread Eagle! With a dash of Tate … a sprinkle of Todd and a nice helping of Kodi (GOD PLEASE) we should keep them off balance.. Don’t forget that our WR’s are picking it up…. some how Tristan “Can’t touch This” Davis is still healthy.. And the fact that no matter what the Bunker or any other blog say’s.. when Auburn fan’s get in the stadium we believe in every single word or action that Tub’s or Franklin say or do.
So rise out of the Buffalo Dung of Negativity you have been rolling in and join me on my high horse cause.. When we beat LSU all the past games stuff get’s forgotten… When we beat Tenn.. we get the credit of being the new team to beat… and after we beat Vandy ( I will be married this is not going to effect our ranking but might impact the sale of Jim Beam)..
Long story short… I love you all… I believe even the biggest pessimist out there is ready to get in the stadium and believe.. and I believe we will get this all figured out by the second quarter! 28 - 17 AUBURN…
So Sit Up Shut Up And Let’s Roll That Damn Tree…
War Damn Eagle
Mikey H
- UCLA Win’s After there QB looked more like the starting QB for the Special Olympic two hand touch team…..
- Vandy Puts up 100 Yards on USC and then pulls a special teams miracle to take a DUBYA…
- My Fav… ECU Rocks the world with a return kick then a blocked punt.. That’s Beamer Ball for ya! F U VT!!!
- Auburn throws for 89 Yards after we have faithfully read about are high octane offense for 6 F*ing months…
- Alabama comes strong and knocks out a weak Clemson.. They still suck hugh monkey balls.. look out for Nov PUnk’s..
- Got 14
- Florida = Hurt
- Georgia = Hurt
- OSU = Hurt if they play a SEC team again = Really Hurt
- Auburn = Hurt
- UGA allows Southern to look actually good against them..
- USC jumps UGA because they beat UVA (Was anyone really surprised..)
But before you start having gay orgy’s because you don’t want to die a virgin look at this…
- Auburn has the key master in Tony Franklin and guess who the Gate Keeper Is…
- TUB’s…
We will battle the State Puff marsh mellow man at Jordain Hair this weekend…
- They have power… 633 Yards… Way to go..
- But LL didn’t have our head hunters… USM said they will jam it down are throats… That is just plan ignorant…
- Prepare for us to have Lot’s of ground yards with a sprinkle of areal attacks!!!
- USM Claims to throw the spread at us… fast pace no huddle…
- But like Biggie Said More Snaps More Coleman…
We will win big… we will come out cool and collect… It is very easy to see that we were nervous over starting spots… first time running the offense… What ever.. We come out strong.. Kodi play a little but mainly we get a chance to see Todd calm down and get it done…..
HOPEFULLY
We win 38 - 0 … D stays Perfect….
Get Ready Boy’s… Tomorrow we do battle
War Eagle… Love Ya
Mikey
Updated - Aug 26, 2008
Your heart is racing… your hand’s are clammy…your pupils are so small you can hardly see… That’s right either you just left Jimmy John’s house or you are in the stadium waiting for AU’s first kick off of the season.… (I Just Pee’d Alittle)
This season starts off with a team that is returning some talent… And let us not forget this is a team that has kept the great tradition of waxing Bama alive and well documented….
I believe that this will not be a walk in the park… We are going to have some mistakes and though we will win by 21 we will learn from this game. This game will teach us a lot about who Kodi / Todd really will be or at least get excited about the man child Chris Burns ( Scientist are still trying to make this work but the fetus keeps trying to roll out of the pocket).
I am looking forward to seeing are offense take the first step to greatness.. The Tony Franklin way! But let’s start out talking about what are team is made of this year…We are going to see a lot of the air game that we have been missing and that alone is going to help us get through are schedule but I feel to much hype has been put on that let’s not forget my #1 thing I Love about Auburn ~ No matter if your D stop’s the passing game or not.. We can shove the ball down your throat if we must… Ask Tate – The dude looks like he could step in the ring against Kimbo.. Then we have Brad “Do Work” Lester – Who WILL have a break out year no matter the situation. Also Tristan “Magic Man”
Davis… “Now You See Me Now You Don’t”… Kid is crazy quick but if you need a reference point go to Kentucky game his Fresh year or
Florida game his Soph year. Then the newest entry to the team a kid named Eric “4th and 2” Smith – They are already projecting this kid to be big time! He is said to be the Rudi of today! And these are not people that hand out complements like this!
I am also excited to see the defense.. Tray “Little Ball Of Hate” Blackmon (Why even try a fun nickname when he already has this one).. He will be the man! But no matter what between him, Coleman and Carter… They will be respected… or you will be putting in your second or third QB. We have some questions in are defense though.. Like can are Freshmen step up to the task… but that’s what these opening games are for.. get the experience against an ok team so by the time we play the top 10’s you are a
Man. We have a stable of talent on the D and feel we will have no drop off this year. If anything we will come out with a new energy!
So long story short… (This Goes Out To Nate)
Today we will step out of the shadows of
AL “To Sexy For My Shirt” Borges and into the Franklin Dynasty. It will be time to show those little birdies what it means to play a real team from the state of
Alabama. The boy’s in
Orange and Blue are going to hit them so hard that their grandmother on their father’s side will break a hip! The ball will fly… the backs will run and all of this will be done without a single huddle… (Sorry Nip‘s Just Got Hard) The baby hawks will not only lose by 21… 28-7 to be exact… they will truly walk away with a life lesson.. Next time tell you AD to wise up and schedule Spuat again cause when you step into the stadium with Auburn you better put your big boy pant’s on…Nothing against ULM (Love the fact you beat Bama) but playing us at home is just asking for an ass-whooping!
WAR DAMN EAGLE
Mikey
P.S. - Saban Can Suck My Balls….
Looking for the next person to write Auburn article’s for the Tron….
I know there are about 3 to 5 of us that regularly write on here but I wanted to open it up and see if there are an readers that want to take a shot at it!
The contest will consist of two articles -
The first should be your funniest tailgating experience at an AUburn game.. This could be funny at your expense or the someone else’s… Extra points if someone in the story pee’s themselves!
The second should be an article in regards to what you feel are hardest game will be.. this should be a funny , factual , motivational Article!
Neither should be longer than 2 Paragraphs. We will decide a winner or winner’s after reading any or all entry’s! If no one writes one then I will pull a Bama and just present myself with the prize!
Good luck… Respond with your entry’s to Huddlmp@gmail.com
Mikey H - Out!
P.S. - War Damn Eagle!
I am 40. I am a man! And I love Olympic Gymnastics!!!***
Recent Comments